Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Day 2 with Molly!

Molly had a very restless night's sleep.  I don't know if it was bad dreams or night terrors, but she would cry out in the night and kept tossing and turning moving from the head to the foot of the bed which kept me up most of the night because I was afraid she'd fall off the bed.  She is napping now, hopefully a long nap!!  She has a bad cough/congestion which also interrupts her sleep.  She is clinging to me for dear life which is helping with attachment (I guess), but she is still very fearful and afraid of things.  She is not really looking me in the eyes at all right now.  After all the books and blogs I've read about attachment I think this is all to be expected, but it is still so hard to see.  It is just sad to see them grieve in this way. 

This morning we were to meet out guide in the lobby at 9am to complete some paperwork.  I was so out of it...really hanging by a thread here that I had not even thought about the significance of the day!  We went to the adoption office in this province to complete paperwork, pay the fees, and make everything official.  I left the hotel with no camera and no gifts!  All the time and stress over what to buy the orphanage director and nannies and here are the gifts lying in my suitcase!  ugghhh!!!  And, of course no pictures of all of that ordeal.  I guess it was just good that I got out the door with Molly dressed (and looking very cute I must say!) and a bag packed with diapers and snacks!  We headed to Walmart next and all I have to say about that is...who has energy to shop at the China Walmart the day after getting their baby??  I did get formula that she may be used to and some cream for what appear to be bug bites on her legs. 


These are pictures from this morning before we left.  She had cheerios and a tangerine in the room and loved them.  She's also playing with her toys, especially the bubbles and stacking cups pretty well.  I'm praying that she can break out of her grief and show some more of her personality soon!  She has already shown that she is very opinionated on what she wants and doesn't want!  She has a very emphatic "no" by shaking her head very obviously if you offer her something and she doesn't want it!  That is really funny! 

So, overall we are doing pretty good.  Eddie and I are able to stay comfy in the room because he badgered the hotel staff long enough for them to come and work on our a/c and bring us a fan in the room so it's nice and cool.  We also found some ice in the hotel and are enjoying some cold drinks for a change!  We hope the ice doesn't make us sick!!!  We've quickly learned that China doesn't like cold things, a/c, working refrigerators, toilet paper in the bathrooms, traffic/driving rules, and cool clothing!  The guide even "scolded" me a bit today for taking Molly out in her little dress with short pants underneath and sandals.  Her legs and arms were showing, but I'm telling you the child was hot!  She even broke out in a bit of a heat rash on her forehead  while we were out today b/c it was so warm out and she was laying on my chest the whole time.  My body heat + her body heat = one hot baby and momma!!

Thanks so much for all of the posts!!!  They are really an encouragement and I LOVE reading them all!  I wish I could comment back to each of you, but I can't b/c blogger is blocked:(

PS {quick note from Danielle}. I wasn't going to say anything but it is after midnight and I am half asleep, but wanted to get this up for all of you.  I am adding 1/3 of the photos because I am too tired to resize the others right now. I hope that's ok!
Also, Amy is very exhausted and as you read, Molly is not sleeping well, so please pray for both of them as they go through this adjustment, and more than anything, pray that sweet little Molly learns to trust her mom, and that she gets some rest. 


Candace said...

Thoughts.... she may be off formula? have you given her milk or water? I didn't get any info either and all I was giving shep was a bottle. then I figured out he had been eating for quite a while when he jerked that mcdonalds french fry out of my hand. I didn't think he could eat it with that palate. that was what I had been told, so go with your gut of what she wants to eat!

yes, you will get scolded, we all got scolded about the dressing of the children, so that is totally to be expected!

When I think about it, shep was 5 months younger, I am sure Molly is dealing with a little more grief, but in her pics, trust me, it is not even close to what we saw with other children on the trip...

and lastly, so funny, on our day of doing all that paperwork, etc, we forgot our gifts too! had to give them to our guide to get them to the people they were intended to go to. just too much to think about. I am so glad that eddie is there with you!

be sure your ice cubes have a hole in the middle, that is how you can tell they are ok to eat. mcdonalds has holes in theirs. that is the first thing I asked for on the plane, a cold drink with ice!!!

Molly looks adorable!!!!!

Becky said...

My daughter-in-law and I were talking last night about the bundling of the babies in China!

One weekend they visited one of their students who lived in a village and they had a total 'bug' meal. Because they intend on returning, they have always fed their kids fruits and veggies because they are plentiful and safe throughout China.

Molly looks so pretty in that blue. I am praying you are getting some rest so you can actually be able to process everything and enjoy!

Jenny Glenn said...

Isn't it funny the universal sign for NO! Shelby had that head shaking thing down too. It sounds like you are all doing great. I wanna say it was day 3 or 4 when I felt "trust". You just keep looking for her eyes and it will come. I was also scolded by half of China for Shelby's clothes but I'm with you it's HOT there and you will know if she is cold. I never thought I would be ready to be back in China so soon but must say I'm jealous of you and all those firsts you are having. It's such an amazing time (if you can remember them without sleep). One note on the sleeping...if it is night terrors you will know if you touch her and she flips out. It's hard not to touch them but it really will make it worse. Shelby's lasted from minutes to I think the longest was 20 minutes but touch made it seem so much worse. Good luck and enjoy the rest of your trip! Jenny

KatieB. said...

She's adorable! That is so odd that they don't dress cool for the weather. I noticed in the Molly Day pics that she looked hot, but it may have been from crying. Poor girl - she'll be grateful for shorts and tanks during Southern summers.

Tricia said...

It sounds like you are doing everything you are suppposed too. Attachment is a process and will take time. She is clinging to you and that is great! She knows you are to be trusted and will begin to relax more each day. Remember my Maggie didn't show her first emotion for 72 hours!!! And she hasn't stopped since! LOL

The nighttime issue is when she can let out her emotions from the day albeit unconsciously. I have become acquainted with night terrors over the past 2 weeks. They are when they are thrashing around, standing up, rolling over, crazy like and still asleep. Their eyes may be open but they are still asleep. Nothing you can do will quiet them so just let them run the course. Just make sure she doesn't hurt herself. She will never remember it. You can just hold her and reassure her but she does not even know you are holding her. Kinda scary and weird. A nightmare, she is aware of what is going on and is just scared. To me that is more scary than a terror because she is feeling it. She will settle down as the days go by. Also, she had a big day yesterday and the WalMart can be very overwhelming for them. Who am I kidding, it was for me! Soon the paperwork will slow down and you will get some calming time with her - then all her systems will be ready to go. Just give her some time. You are doing an incredible job - don't doubt yourself. Remember what I said before you left - SURVIVE China!!!!! Let me know if I can help! Love ya

Tricia said...

Oh and btw, she looks just precious in these pictures!!!! I love that you got a hairbow in her beautiful hair. And that color looks awesome on her - I may have to find that color for Maggie. Isn't it fun to dress her after so many years waiting?

Dan and Karen said...

Congratulations!!! Molly is beyond adorable! We are praying for sleep for all of you and that Molly quickly bonds and shows you her true personality.

Enjoy your wonderful journey!


jennifer harrison said...

I love that dress Molly is wearing - looks like a Carter's dress to me! She is beautiful, Amy, and I am absolutely delighted to see that you have been united with your daughter.

Your description of the restless nights and the harried morning prep (who needs makeup?) reminds me of our first nights with Elizabeth at home...I know that you are facing different challenges and obstacles with Molly than we did, but the common thread seems to be that it really, really does get better. Just as a newborn will start sleeping through the night, so will Molly settle down and get comfortable with you. She is so lucky to have you as her loving mama as she goes through such a huge transition.

Congrats again. What a happy day!

Unknown said...

Oh Amy, I know the feeling of just being overwhelmed and being forgetful and all that. Don't worry about that. Just let that little girl cling to you and learn that she can trust you and that you will be there without fail. And, I agree, Chinese Walmarts and the like are incredibly energy sapping! Hang in there-

Tricia Thompson said...

One other side note - when you get to Guangzhou if you are staying at the White Swan, they will bring you ice if you just call and ask for it. I hated that everything was hot too. And girl, Lucy's iced tea is awesome!!!!!! They bring it with liquid sugar and lots of ice! OH MY.

Lauren said...

Soooooo excited for you and she is just beautiful!!!!!!!!! :)

Angie said...

Bless your heart, Amy! Praying you both get some better sleep...maybe you can get a few naps in, too!

She is adorable...wow! Love her curious eyes...and she does have great hair!

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