Here's what I want to tell my younger self, and all of you who may be experiencing the same struggles I did:
1. Whether you have one child, or two, or five, remember that their are times and seasons of your life, where you are "allowed" to step back and just survive day to day without adding more to your plate. (Good, because I hate adding more to my plate!!)
2. Be confident in having the knowledge that only you and you alone can decide when your family can handle any extra commitments. (Love this! the outside world cannot make my agenda for me!)
3. Learn to say no without guilt. Offer to do what you can do easily...that means with no stress. (NO guilt, my favorite two words!)
4. Don't compare yourself with others. What one person seems to handle with ease (notice the "seems" part), is maybe not what you can handle. We all have different talents, and we all have different stresses and thresholds. We also all have different support systems behind the scenes. (This is especially important for me...not to compare myself with two parent households! There are things other families can manage because there are two adults working together. I can't stress that I still have fall leaves on my front yard and driveway that need to be raked. I'll get to it when I can:) I can't stress that other families will take vacations when we can't afford it. We'll do what I can manage on my own with one paycheck.)
5. Be kind to yourself and in spite of what the world tells us all today, do not underestimate how much work it is to be a mom, just by itself, without all the extra things we feel pressured to do today. (Amen!)
1. Whether you have one child, or two, or five, remember that their are times and seasons of your life, where you are "allowed" to step back and just survive day to day without adding more to your plate. (Good, because I hate adding more to my plate!!)
2. Be confident in having the knowledge that only you and you alone can decide when your family can handle any extra commitments. (Love this! the outside world cannot make my agenda for me!)
3. Learn to say no without guilt. Offer to do what you can do easily...that means with no stress. (NO guilt, my favorite two words!)
4. Don't compare yourself with others. What one person seems to handle with ease (notice the "seems" part), is maybe not what you can handle. We all have different talents, and we all have different stresses and thresholds. We also all have different support systems behind the scenes. (This is especially important for me...not to compare myself with two parent households! There are things other families can manage because there are two adults working together. I can't stress that I still have fall leaves on my front yard and driveway that need to be raked. I'll get to it when I can:) I can't stress that other families will take vacations when we can't afford it. We'll do what I can manage on my own with one paycheck.)
5. Be kind to yourself and in spite of what the world tells us all today, do not underestimate how much work it is to be a mom, just by itself, without all the extra things we feel pressured to do today. (Amen!)
I'll just add that right now I feel totally fulfilled in my role of motherhood. I look forward to being with Molly each day. I don't really care that I have 4 free movie tickets in my purse about to expire because I haven't had time to use them this year! ha! I know that this time is just going so fast. This is the only time Molly will be two years old...full of curiosity and wonder at the world around her. Next year she will be three and it will bring a whole new set of characteristics...and then before I know it she will be grown. I don't want to wish this time away at all and I definitely don't want to look back and say I wished I had left the leaves alone, or left the dirty dishes in the sink, or not worried about planning the perfect holiday traditions and just have been with Molly more. There will be a time for movies someday and there will be a time to clean someday because someday she will not want me to play with her anymore. And someday she will not want me to read to her anymore. Oh, how I wish that someday would never come!
1 comment:
Amy, thank you, thank you, thank you! I needed these reminders. I need to stencil them in my bedroom. :)
Praying for you...one single momma for another.
Happy, Happy Thanksgiving to you and Molly.
Blessings,
Suzanne
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