Sunday, September 7, 2008

My wish...

is to one day own my own home. I typically plan this dream out in my head a few times a year and then push it aside and move on with my life as I actually know it. I'm a single 33 year old woman and I live with my mother. Until a few years ago I actually had the exact same bedroom that I had when I was a mere 3 year old child! Then, my brother got married and I moved into his room because it was bigger. Still...same house.

I love my house, even with it's old cracks, popcorn ceilings, and dark paneled walls. Our home is home and has character. (sometimes more character than I would like, but it's charming) We live in a beautiful area full of trees and nature. The view is idyllic, it's great. But, sometimes when I least expect it I get this urge to want to move out and have my own place. Recently this "urge" came about because in talking with my grandmother about selling her house I really hoped I would be able to buy it from her and move there. I love her house, it's small, cute, and would be perfect for me. It needs some repairs, painting, and yard work, but hey we all watch HGTV these days...we can do anything!

I'm telling you I get totally obsessed with these 'urges' and get paint chips, fabric swatches, and pictures of furniture I would want to use. My 'home' folder is padded thick with these houses in my dreams. I get really bummed out when reality ( mom) strikes and tells me I'm not really in the position to take the step into home ownership, yet.

The problem is money...I don't have any, I owe too much, and I don't make enough!!! I had a very big spending above my means for about 10 years. This created a large sum of credit card debt...piled with car debt and student loans and you see where this is going. Then I was introduced to Dave Ramsey and his Financial Peace University and that changed a lot. I cut up my credit cards, stopped charging and over spending and began my debt snowball. It's been a great thing, but has taken me a long time to pay off (I'm still working on it). In the process of paying off debt I finished my Masters degree and began the process of adoption (both costly endeavors). But now I can actually see the light at the end of the tunnel and I'm hoping that all goes as planned. I'm very close to paying off my student loans and then have a mere one more credit card to pay off (it's a doozy, so don't get too excited)

So with all that said, I know there is no way I could buy a house now. It would be a huge mistake to go backwards right now financially. But sometimes I just think it would be nice to have a place I could call my own, have my own traditions, and do things my way.

My mom is pretty flexible to live with, she's great and we're a lot alike. But as she gets older she gets worse about certain things (my two pet peeves...clutter and disorganization!!!). Somedays it's all I can take to not scream !!! She is such a pack rat about things and it doesn't help that she has a job (home daycare) that can lend itself to needing a lot of 'things' . Monday thru Friday daycare stuff is always out, strewn about the house and then she spends Saturday cleaning it up to have it trashed by Monday again. She cannot throw away (or recylcle) magazines or catalogs for anything! When I can I gather as many as possibe and take them away without her seeing. Just like when she is gone for a while I pick a drawer or cabinet to organize, but it's only a matter of a days before it's trashed again. It's the weirdest thing...she thrives on clutter. I don't need an interventionist or anything, our house is basically clean...we can see the floor, but it's just more than I prefer.

I think I'm very fortunate to have a mom I can live with (and not drive each other crazy) and to have a mom who supports me in the decision to adopt. She will be a huge support when Molly comes and I know I'll need her. I'm sure if I was on my own there would be times when I would think...'there's no place like home'!!! But am I crazy to think I might could handle it totally on my own with a child? Time will tell...I have to pay off the debt first, though.


3 Peanuts said...

Stick with your plan! I used to listen to Dave Ramsey a lot on the radio. I admire you for sticking with the program. We are "debt free" and it is a commitment that we work hard to keep.

Amazeing teacher---I KNOW you can do this and you will be so glad you waited!!!


Danielle Moss said...


I know EXACTLY how you feel. I'm still at home too, but unfortunately, it isn't too pleasant here.

Anyways, I think it's amazing that you have been able to pay off almost everything, and it will be exciting when you write a post saying you don't owe anything! For what it's worth, I am proud of you!

I also want to tell you that I love how open and honest you always are. It is really refreshing.

And for the record, I know you could do it on your own. You are going to be an amazing mom. You already are.



The Daily Bee said...

Hi, I stumbled on your blog while reading someone else's. I can feel where you're coming from, I am a few years younger and in the same boat, living at home and wanting some space!

God's timing is perfect and He knows the desires of your heart. Hang in there! =)

Jill said...


Oh my... I love this post. I would love to own a home too. Currently, I'm renting and I'm 33 years old. I feel like I should own a place by now. I just haven't had the money.

I think you could live alone with Molly. Your mom will always live close by and you could call her if you needed her.


Melynda said...

Alright girl, here goes. You can be anything and do anything you put your mind to. Having said that, God has a plan for you. Have you read the 10 Commandments? It's all about being content in what God has given you. (I know this because I struggle with it all the time.) And having said that, there's nothing wrong with planning your life--especially a life outside of your mom's house. There's also nothing wrong with living in your mom's house--other cultures have multi-generation households as the norm. Our culture is one of the few that expect children to leave home after "childhood." If the timing is right for the house, God will provide. When you're ready to be a mom...oh, who am I kidding? Who is "ready" to be a mom. We're all insecure, friend, and we all have our sweet Father's hand to hold as we walk.

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