Wednesday, September 22, 2010

just thinking...

I've been thinking a lot lately about what we (I) subject our kiddos to that basically throws them into screaming, crying fits that make you think your precious child has turned into the excorsist.  With the recent trip to Knoxville, a long wait in the waiting room, an extra long day at daycare, and the general rush of being a working mom again, I've taken extra notice of what can spur on an outburst in my child.  I've always had some sympathy for moms in public with screaming, raging mad kids but at the same time I admit I did pass judgment on them at the same time...why don't "they" go to the grocery, bank, post office, ____ when the kids can be at home with dad or a babysitter? 

Now, I've experienced my own personal embarrassment in public with my own little temper thrower (the most recent of which left me and her in tears at in the doctor's waiting room a couple weeks ago) and I can tell you it's no fun!!  Despite my own attempts to pack snacks, games, and sing through the grocery store it only lasts for a short while and she is ready to GO!  I'm trying my very best to limit the times when I require her to sit still in adult situations (like a grocery cart) and realize just because I love going to the mall doesn't' mean she wants to be drug along with me in her stroller for hours at a time as I window shop.  It's not her thing!  She is 2 years old and she just wants to be at home and have freedom to run and play with her things.

Which leads me to another thing...when we are at home she wants and needs my attention.  It's not constant, but it would be good if I would let the dishes go, let the laundry pile up once, and just sit and be with her.  She needs to see me playing with her.  On the floor.  Not juggling the computer, camera, laundry basket, or tv remote control.  The times that I'm trying to "keep her busy" so I can pay bills, plan her birthday party, plan our weekly menu, and do chores are the times when she gets fussy.  I'm lucky, she's usually pretty good about playing alone when I need her to but I'm just trying to balance it all.

One of my favorite mom bloggers is Clover Lane and just today she has written a great post about this very thing.  I'm going to post an exact paragraph that she wrote so well...

Give them full attention for hours. Look them in the eyes as much as we can. Eat meals with them. Good healthy meals. Slowly. Don't answer the phone. Stop RUSHING. Kids hate rushing, don't they? Especially the little ones. It's not good for them. It makes them, well, screech, and stomp and hit and rebel against the world.


Don't you just need that little reminder sometimes?  I have seen Molly grow and change these last few months.  As she has approached two years old she is trying to become more independent.  She is challenging me (I guess this is good...it shows she is completely normal!), she wants to know who is in charge.  I've had to challenge my own parenting techniques... how am I going to discipline her throughout these years.  I must be consistent. And also, I shouldn't punish her for putting her in situations that are not developmentally appropriate for a two year old.  Sure, sometimes it cannot be helped.  But her greatest JOY  is when I pick her up from daycare as soon as I can get there and we go home for the rest of the night.  When I have to take her along on mindless errands or when I haven't planned dinner that is when she is more likely to melt down.

I think I'm being redundant now, but I've just been amazed at how well she thrives when given routine and order in her life and that makes me so happy!

2 comments:

thebankofmylife said...

This was a good post. I've been wanting children since I was in my late teens and yet, I don't really think about what to expect when the children finally comes. I, too, have been one of those people who judge when I see a child go into a temper tantrum and I just know that my child or children will eventually have one. You're a great mother, though, and you're still learning. So, I'm going to leave you with something one of my blog friends told me: Faith and Joy. Faith and Joy. Have faith and seek joy.

Tanya said...

My Olivia is the same way. She LOVES and NEEDS routine in her life. She doesn't like for her routine to be disrupted in any way. And, like your friend said, she doesn't like to be rushed. I told my husband just last week, I was going to have to start getting up earlier so I wouldn't have to rush her around in the mornings. She has meltdowns or total attitude change when we rush. It is always a good morning when there is no rushing. Loved the post and the reminder that we need to slow down our lives.

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